Category: Eating Disorders

Posted on

Emotional Eating

What is emotional eating?

Emotional eating can be visible in plain sight. It can be as transparent as I am sad or mad or happy and I want to eat something to make this emotion and situation more bearable. That is what most people think of when they think of emotional eating – the pint of Ben and Jerry’s that is needed after a break up that every romantic comedy features. But emotional eating isn’t always so obvious. We can be emotional eating and not even realize. 

Emotional eating can be a way to avoid feelings that haven’t even come up yet. You may think I am not feeling anything – how can this be emotional eating? The truth is emotional eating can come from a place of preventing the emotions from coming up in the first place. You may not feel them because the act of eating, not eating or thinking about food is preventing you from feeling anything.  You might feel completely “normal” and still be emotionally eating.

When we emotional eat we literally push those feelings deep within us. It is act of pushing things down through food. The food is literally filling us up and pushing those emotions inside of us away from our heart and away from our mind so that we don’t have to think about them. If we eat – we don’t need to feel how lonely we are, we don’t need to feel how worthless we are, we don’t need to feel how overwhelmed we are, how unimportant and incapable we feel, how stressful work is – all we need to feel is the food inside of us; the fullness and maybe the guilt of having eaten something we didn’t want to.

It is a way of replacing the emotions that we feel from situations we can’t control and maybe can’t explain with emotions and sensations of something we can – food. If we binge on a food that we don’t want and feel bad about ourselves because of it we then have created a reason for why we feel bad. We have created a circumstance that made us feel bad, something that our brains can wrap their head around for why we don’t feel like a worthwhile person and something that we can maybe try and control.

Emotional eating could look something like this

…………

You come home from dinner with a friend and you are feeling like a failure, like no one likes you, like you are an inadequate employee who can’t do anything right. You get home overwhelmed knowing that you can’t change these feelings – or you come home just overwhelmed not exactly knowing why you are feeling overwhelmed or worthless

You go to the fridge – anything to soothe the anxiety, the overwhelm, the feeling that you are not good enough – you pull out something to eat; anything to eat even though you have just eaten with a work colleague before you got home – you know you aren’t hungry but you just need to feel better and this promises to help.

You eat it all – whatever it was, whatever was there – and for a moment while you are eating it and tasting it – you are not thinking about how you feel about yourself – for a moment it is helping. But when it is done all of those things come flooding back but this time those same feelings are because of what you ate

Suddenly you are not an unworthy person because of things beyond your control but you are unworthy because of what just happened with food – you are inadequate because you ate more than you needed to, because you ate when you didn’t want to, because you lost control

Whether any of those things are true or not is irrelevant – what is relevant is that now you are feeling bad because of the food and the food is something that you can comprehend and deal with and change – before you were feeling bad about something else- something intangible – some space inside of you that made you believe that those negative feelings about yourself were true, even if they aren’t. That is impossible to wrap your head around, impossible to deal with.

……….

When overwhelm comes from a place that we can’t connect with, can’t understand and can’t change it is easier to project those feelings onto something else.  Food is one way to cope with those feelings. It is a way to distract us from what is really going on beneath the surface. It is one way to make sense of the unexplainable emotions inside of us or the overwhelm of our daily life. It does not solve the problem. It just gives us something else to focus on.

Are you emotional eating?

Each time you eat ask yourself – what is the purpose of me eating this right now? Is it because I want it, is it because I feel like I need it, is it to nourish my body or is it because I am trying to hide from something – is it because I am feeling uncomfortable in my skin and in who I am and I can’t deal with that?

No matter what the answer is, it is okay– you can still eat the thing, but asking can help us to notice what is going on underneath the service. It can help us to see our patterns with food – the ways in which we might be engaging with it beyond actually nourishing our bodies.

If you are not feeling good in your relationship with food, there is probably more going on than you think. It is not the food. The food is only one part of the big picture. The way we think about food, the way we engage with food, the way we feel about ourselves, what is going on in our lives – it can all influence our relationship with food. It takes looking at all of it to finally break the cycle that we are in. It takes looking at it all to finally release the hold that food has on our lives and our overall wellbeing.

It is possible. I promise.  I am here to help. Book your free 15 minute consultation to learn about how you can feel comfortable with food again and reclaim your life.  

Posted on

The Mood Around Food

“If we are panicked or overwhelmed by food – it doesn’t matter what we are choosing to put in our body it will not nourish us”

I am eating all the right things.

I am only eating “healthy”.

Why am I still having all of these digestive concerns even when I eat only good things.

These are common things that I hear: from patients, from people around me, sometimes even in my own mind. There is this idea that if you are doing it “right” – eating only the “right” foods, eating only the “right” amount of foods – then you are supposed to feel good. If only it were that simple.

The truth is there is much more that goes into the way that we nourish our bodies than the food that we eat. There is so much more that goes into feeling good then just your food choices. Yes the quality and nutrients of the foods that we choose to put into our bodies is one part of this, but it is not the only thing. The foundation of allowing food to nourish you includes understanding how food impacts your mental health. This means looking at how you feel mentally and emotionally around food. When you are having a hard mental relationship with food you can feel mentally and physically bad even eating the most nutritious foods.    

Stress around food and what you are eating doesn’t allow you to seek the nourishment that food offers. Instead that stress can trigger an overwhelmed or panicked state changing the way that our digestive system is working. This state is also called a sympathetic nervous system response or a fight or flight state.

There is a profound physiological link between our nervous system and our digestive systems. Both of these systems produce the neurotransmitter serotonin that helps to regulate our digestive function and our mood. When we are not eating foods that are nourishing our bodies, we can experience changes in our mental health. In this same fashion when we are experiencing extreme stress or emotions in our nervous system this does not allow us to physically digest and use the nourishment of food. In essence our emotional or mental state can influence our physical ability to use food, or engage with food including whether we feel hungry or full.

It is the parasympathetic nervous system response or relaxed state that allows for our brain to reset and for the digestive system to function optimally. If we are constantly being panicked or overwhelmed by food it doesn’t matter what we are putting in our body it will not nourish us. Our nervous system will actually prevent our digestive system from using the food properly.

Having an emotionally or mentally stressed relationship with food also doesn’t give our brain any time to rest and reset. No matter how well you are doing anything else – if you cannot relax around food it will only tax your nervous system instead of nourish it. This can result in changes in your ability to digest food properly and can cause or exacerbate digestive symptoms such as bloating, gas, irregular bowel movements, nausea and much more.

The way to nourish the body and mind most profoundly is by being okay with the foods that you are eating. It means not fighting against the act of eating or the food that you are putting in your body. It means being nice to yourself. It means not using food as a way to be hard on yourself. It means not trying to use food as a way to control what is going on around you. It means not using food as a way of judging yourself or as a way of isolating yourself. It means understanding that food doesn’t have to be perfect, that you don’t have to be perfect. You are okay just the way that you are, just like the food you are eating – no matter what it is – is okay just the way it is.

Letting go of all the rules and restrictions we have around food can set the stage for us to start to feel good. Feeling good means feeling safe in your body. It means being present and seeing things for what they are. Seeing that food is just food – nourishment for our body – and not the be all and end all for you happiness, success or comfort in your own body. When we can separate food from our own happiness and self-worth, that is when we can truly start to let food – no matter what that food is – nourish us. At the same time it also gives us the space to start to find the nourishment that we truly need beyond food. This could be in rest or sleep or passions or work or relationships: any of the things that focusing on food prevents you from engaging with.  

During this time of self-isolation there is a lot of time that can be spent thinking about and engaging with food. This can be very triggering for anyone with a complicated food relationship. At the same time it also gives us the time and space to reflect on it. It gives space to sit with the discomfort you might feel around food and reflect on the ways that your relationship with food is actually NOT nourishing you and the ways that this same relationship might be preventing other parts of your life from nourishing you.

It doesn’t have to be this way. YOU can change this. YOU can let this world nourish you.

Today – choose one meal and before eating it sit down and tell yourself all of the reasons why the food on this plate is nourishing your body. Is it because it is right from the Earth? Is it because of the vitamin and mineral content? Is it because you are low energy and need a pick me up? For this exercise the type of food that you are eating – it doesn’t matter- what matters is letting go of judgement towards the food and yourself. What matters is the positive way this food is impacting you.

Every single food has something to offer you. Yes there are foods with higher nutrient content than others, but each food still has something to offer. Once you see what each of the foods you are eating has to offer, keep this in your mind as you take each bite. The focus is not on judging yourself for what you are eating but on reminding yourself that each bite of each food you chose today, at this one meal, is nourishing you.

It is time to stop letting food dictate your worth, your time, your energy. It is time to nourish yourself inside and out.

Please reach out if you need any support at this time. I am always here offering virtual appointments.

With love

Alex 

Posted on

Food Stress?!?!

Is it an eating disorder or just normal food stress? That is the question. Many people have a preoccupation with food, but would never consider it an eating disorder. Maybe because it doesn’t fit the diagnostic criteria of an eating disorder. Maybe because it doesn’t seem severe enough. Maybe because this preoccupation or focus on food is just “normal” food stress.

The truth is there is no normal food stress.

Food is not supposed to be complicated or hard or stressful. It is not supposed to be something that fills our days and our thoughts. It is not supposed to make us feel emotionally bad EVER.

Yes there are foods that impact our bodies in certain ways that can give rise to physical symptoms, BUT those are very different from the emotional guilt and stress that surrounds eating certain foods for many people.

Food is our sustenance, nourishment and social connection. It is to be eaten and enjoyed so that we have energy to live; energy to make it through the day; energy to survive.

Along the way, as we have evolved as humans, this fundamental value of what food is has gotten lost. Instead it has been replaced by diet culture. The obsession with thinness and fitness and health and the “right” diet has led to food becoming something that we should scrutinize, avoid, manipulate. It has become something that we use to avoid emotional pain. Over eating, under eating, obsessive healthy eating, eating junk food, thinking about food all of the time; these are all ways that food has become a tool in our lives instead of sustenance.  

Food is no longer seen as the fundamental nourishment that it is.

Instead it has become acceptable to use food as a coping mechanism, a distraction, a place to direct our stress and overwhelm. That can manifest in different obsessions and actions depending on the person.

While it may not be an overt eating disorder – many of us are using food as a tool to help us cope with our lives and what is happening in this. This is creating an entire society with an extremely complicated relationship with food. 

It does not have to be this way.

Part of understanding this complex and emotional relationship we have with food is for each of us to understand what is going on with ourselves. What underneath our day-to-day actions makes us need to use food in the ways that we are. What is safe about thinking about food versus thinking about other things? What does engaging with food offer us amidst the complexity of the world and of our emotions? This is something that all of use can take time to reflect on.

Underneath the preoccupation with food there might be something that we need help and support navigating. You don’t have to have an overt eating disorder to have thoughts, obsessions, guilt, dysfunctions, stress, or just an overall complicated relationship with food. It is the norm these days. But it doesn’t have to be.

Food is not meant to be hard. Remember that when you find food taking over your thoughts. Food is supposed to give you energy instead of taking it away. If you are finding that thinking about or engaging with food is taking more energy than it should – there is always support to help navigate it. Never hesitate to reach out – eating disorder or not. I am here to help you look beyond the food and figure out how to best support and nourish your body both emotionally and physically.

Posted on

Beyond Food: Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Because in my mind I am not okay

Eating disorders are one of the most complex and challenging illnesses to both treat and experience. They can be close to invisible, hidden by a “healthy” looking exterior of perceived calm and collection or they can be as evident as an emaciated human being.

Types of eating disorders:

Anorexia nervosa: Anorexia is an eating disorder that is characterized by a refusal to maintain a normal body weight (usually less than 85% of expected body weight), intense fear of gaining weight, as well as a disturbance in experience of one’s body shape or weight. This can be either restrictive, which involves not eating or binge-eating and purging, which involves large amount of food and then purging it out of the body in some way. This also has an increased influence on one’s body image and self-evaluation.

Bulimia nervosa: Bulimia is an eating disorder that is characterized by recurrent binge eating over a specific period of time that feels as though there is a sense of lack of control. After this binge eating there is often a recurrent, inappropriate compensatory behaviour such as vomiting that gets rid of the food that has just been ingested. This also has an increased influence on one’s body image and self-evaluation.

Binge eating disorder: binge eating disorder is very similar to bulimia however without the purging or compensatory behaviour. It is characterized by episodes of eating large quantities of food in a short period of time with a sense of lack of control over this. It is often followed up an experience of shame, distress or guilt following the food eating episodes as well as the feeling of being uncomfortably full. This also has an increased influence on one’s body image and self-evaluation.

Orthorexia: A form of fixation with food that resolves around obsession for proper nutrition resulting in a restrictive diet, a focus on food preparation and ritualized patters of eating. This is often has an obsession with food quality or nutrition leading to much of their mental and physical energy going towards thinking about food so much so that it interferes with daily life.

February 1st marks the beginning of eating disorder awareness week.  While this is a week that specifically works to bring to attention to struggles of those with diagnosed eating disorders, it also asks each and every one of us to evaluate our own relationship with food and hunger. Food is something that is so tied with human emotion, and human experience that it can become a method that we use to cope without even realizing it. Whether it is emotionally eating, emotionally not eating, choosing junk food when we feel bad or refusing to touch unhealthy food when we feel bad, our ways of interacting with food are often based on how we feel emotionally instead of looking at what our body needs. In this sense each of us engage in disordered eating patterns at some point or another.

The truth about food is that it is our nourishment. It is what our body needs to survive each and every day. We MUST have food every day. This is what can make eating disorders so incredibly painful for the person who suffers from them. Unlike other addiction such as drug addiction or alcoholism, a person with an eating disorder cannot avoid the trigger of all of their mental and physical pain. They have to eat. No matter how much pain it causes them – they have to eat.

For most people if there is something that hurts them –they don’t’ do it. For example when you touch a hot element on a stove, it burns and causes pain in the area that touches the element. In order to avoid this pain you take caution when you are using the elements and try not to touch the element whenever possible. For someone with an eating disorder it is eating food that causes this similar sensation of mental, emotional and physical pain in their entire being. The thing is they can’t stop eating food. This makes it incredibly challenging to recover from an eating disorder. At the same time that you are trying to work through all of the things underlying the disorder such as anxiety, depression, OCD, past traumas etc. you are continuously being triggered.  Can you imagine trying to heal that burned hand if you are constantly being forced to place it back on the hot element? It takes incredibly hard work and time and strength to overcome this trigger and truly start to heal.

This is the type of resilience that characterizes people who are in recovery or who have recovered from an eating disorder.

This is what eating disorder awareness week is all about. It is about recognizing the complexity and the challenge that comes with trying to overcome an eating disorder. It is about recognizing that recovery does not stop when someone is at an appropriate weight – instead it is a constant struggle each and every day on the inside. It involves overcoming certain thought patterns and core beliefs that are so ingrained that they feel true. It involves going beyond food and learning about who you are beneath this disorder. It is about healing all of the parts of  the self that have been hurt, fragmented, broken. It is about looking at all of the parts of the self that are scared, anxious, depressed, traumatized, alone and working with them to create safety in this world. It is about finding a way that each and every person with an eating disorder can feel safe in the world so that they do not need to hold onto their eating disorder to feel okay.  It takes time. It takes strength. It takes patience. More than anything it takes support, no matter how long it has been, no matter how long it will take. There is no right way to recover from an eating disorder, no right treatment. It is about working with each individual, to support them the best way possible, no matter what that support looks like.

Naturopathic Medicine is one of the many tools that can support those who are trying to recover from an eating disorder. The many modalities that Naturopathic Medicine encompasses including mind-body counselling, acupuncture, Traditional Chinese Medicine, homeopathy, and nutrition are all tools that can support someone with an eating disorder. No matter what direction your recovery is going, never be afraid to reach out for support with me, Dr. Alexandra.

Remember that you are not alone in this. Support for eating disorders is available through Naturopathic Medicine and may other tools. I am always sending so much love and support. Hang in there.